I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
