just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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