you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
