Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
