They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
