absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
