I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize