You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
