Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
