I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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