Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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