so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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