For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
