My brain says no but my pants say off.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
where does the pee come out of this thing
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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