I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
