shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
