just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
