Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
