found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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