margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
