oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
