Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
