At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
