I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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