someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
