im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
