You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
