But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
