Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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