We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
