their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
