No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
