Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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