She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
