oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
