True but thats because hes a fetus.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
