and i looked up. we had an audience...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
