What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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