If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
