You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
