none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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