Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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