Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
