so let's talk penis.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
