He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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