She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
