My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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