True but thats because hes a fetus.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize