At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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