I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
