It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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