There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
