just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
