So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
