If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
