this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
