I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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