hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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