Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
