OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
